New School Year, New Challenges

Image Credit  Jimston Journal

Its a new school year. C1 has officially entered high school and I’m terrified. Having a kid with autism makes back to school take a completely different tone and set of challenges. My mind is focused on her adjustment to a new school with new rules, a school with 2000+ students, if my new IEP team will be as helpful and cooperative as the last, if I will have a month or more of daily meltdowns because the school is one big sensory ball of chaos. I have to again have the sex talk and not the way I expected. I have to focus on not being taken advantage of or being talked into something because her social skills and her inability to read people makes her an easy target.

Its stressful y’all.

Her first day wasn't too bad. After the obligatory first day pics, (which for me was a first time ever taking them before dawn) She proceeded to give me typical teen angst. Complaining I took too many pictures, thinking every noise she heard was possibly the school bus before I finally left her head off to the bus stop. 

Before she got real annoyed with me.

On her return home that afternoon, I had to 1^st tell her she forgot to turn on her cellphone, a requirement I have while she waits and rides the bus both ways. After I watched her and gave her space, I could tell she was trying to decompress I got to the myriad of first day questions. The one I feared the most clearly shook her up as well. While we'd been at the school twice for tours she was completely unprepared for the amount of kids. Her school is not considered overcrowded but that many students and that volume levels she came home shaking. Its been a week now and she's still coming home in sensory overload but its not as bad as the first day.

I may joke and kid on social media, I made several comments about a teacher of hers who was shocked when I told her C1 has had e-textbooks for 3 years.

Hello the teacher doesn't even have a website! I bet she thinks I was lying...

I still have to make some minor adjustments. She's used to classes with SMARTBoards and individual laptops, but she' new to the online testing area, something the State put into practice this school year. She's completely overwhelmed by the cafeteria line length but as with every school she's ever attended she visits the school library daily. She's amazed by the soda machines, the allowance of iPods in between classes and during lunch and she's gotten some class time with her iTouch. I know the social aspect will take a long time but I’m glad she's making it to the end of the day before she goes into her stimming episodes. Its the balancing game I have to play. Home life is considerably more chaotic because of her need to decompress but she's making it all the way to home so its just one of those things.

High School is a journey much more complex than I could ever imagine. We are already going to attend our first college fair soon. As I sat on the phone with K talking about both of our brand new 9^th graders who are venturing into this world, either child is the same we get to discussion what's similar, whats different and then joke about our high school days.

Milestones are funny like that. I have a high schooler. Its something I never thought would be a big deal but then when life gives you a child with special needs you realize that there are lots of milestones in life, they just sneak up on you. 

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Getting older, Moving up

In the middle of last year i had a very long conversation with K about us turning 35 next year. It was long we talked about big ideas and great plans because 30 was a blast and 35 deserved to be just as special. When TOM and I got back together i said the same thing to him how it was my plan to have an epic party or vacation. I got engaged and this year seemed epic. Then all the bad stuff started happening so i put it all on the backburner. When i got the email that C1's 8th grade graduation would be on my birthday i figured, that's a sign to stop celebrating me birthday again.

I didn't used to do birthdays and so clearly the universe is trying to tell me something, i'm not sure what its something. I decided to just accept that and look at my birthday as not any other day but as a celebration of a long crazy journey of middle school.

Graduation program 100 students

I got to wear my new shirt from Threadless for my birthday. When in doubt vote Ninjas or else.

Vote Ninjas 2012 or else

I convinced C1 to not wear her hair in a tight bun.

C1 after the ceremony

Its the little things.

Its funny how life throws you curveballs so you make the most of it. I was on the only one in the audience for C1. My parents were in Turkey, my grandmother instead of coming up threw a small party for C1 at her beach house, and her father... he neglected to even acknowledge her graduation. But i was there happy that not only did we pull off middle school, the source of a lot of my hair falling out, but that she managed to get really good grades and an award for ethics. Ethics, so apropos for a kid with Autism who sees so many things as black and white. We had a great IEP team all 3 years, the staff at her school was beyond wonderful and she had the best Language Arts teacher all 3 years who i will sorely miss.

So my 35th birthday i guess was a bit about me, i could take pride in the fact that we both survived this stage of life. High school is a bit scary but i feel like i know where i'm heading and where she's going. I can look at it as stage complete. There's life lessons in everything if you stop and reflect.

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My How She's Grown

My favorite picture of her. Age 2.

The end of the year always brings the same thing to me. C1's birthday. This year she's 14. WOW. Fourteen. I managed to raise a child to 14 with only minor injuries. No broken bones, 1 ear infection, 2 ER visits, 1 case of chicken pox, and a small house fire i put out pretty damn fast. I guess i'm out of the childhood maiming phase huh? That means i'm in the teen acne, hormones, dating, holy shit i can't afford college phase. Hmm the other phase doesn't sound so bad in hindsight.

I just never know what life is going to bring me when it comes to this one. I've been given curve ball after curve ball and i haven't hit any homeruns but i'm at least getting on base.
She moody and cranky and autistic and she's still perfect. She's short and thin with legs so powerful she can leg press almost twice her body weigh. She's perfect.
She still eats by color, reads 200+ books a year, and can recite everything in a particular episode of Pokemon. She's perfect.
She'll watch the same movie every night for 2 months before bed, celebrates lots of holidays (obscure and all), thinks boys are weird, and takes way to long to comb her hair in the morning. She's perfect.
She loves to shop and buy trendy clothes, then mix it up with some insanely clashly accessory, she can shoot a rifle, is begging for archery lessons to improve her aim, and still plays with dolls. She's perfect.

She's 14 now, and she's still perfect.

age 14

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Can't you just leave now?

That is what C1 said to me REPEATEDLY when i dropped her off at sleepaway camp Sunday. I got her checked in, helped her unpack and arrange her bunk, dropped off her meds witht he nurses, and discuessed her food allergy. I even picked out what size shirt she needed to grab. All this and i'm sweating buckets because its blazing hot in her cabin. I've been here 25 minutes and she won't stop saying it.

Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.

C1 at a different camp

I had every intention of leaving, i wanted some ice cream i didn't really want to be standing there but i knew i had to get her set up. Even though we were in the first pack at the gate not knowing where the cabin was meant she got the last free bunk. Half the parents were done and leaving when we got there. Again i'm sweating because there's no ventilation and 14 girls in one room and she wants to know when i'm leaving. I'm jonesing for a custard soda trust me i don't want to still be there but she's still not signed up for activities. I announced loudly int he general direction of her cabin counselor i would leave once she was signed up. So i cheated just a tad. She happily smiled and turned to sign up C1 next instead of the other 3 girls waited. Once she was done i got a half side hug, a loud annoyed sigh from C1 and she went over to the sofa in the common room to sit under the fan.
Seriously I just wanted to make sure she got a spot in archery before i left. i really didn't want to hear later about it being crowded.

I was there 45 minutes. i high tailed it straight to Goodberry's. If she's like this at camp drop off imagine if she goes away to college.

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Reversal

Image by mikebaird via FlickrWhen most children are around 2-4 they enter a WHY phase. The one where every single thing you say or that happens is followed with a Why? Why Mommy?!?! At least i think thats how it goes. C1 was non-verbal so i never had the Why phase. I'm sure she was thinking it.

The reason why i think about this is because now i have the reverse. Every single day when C1 comes home from school I ask how her day went. Every time we are int he car after a practice or i pick her up from an event I ask the same questions. I now general questions are hard for a kid on the autism so i tend to ask very specific questions like "what did you eat at school?" or "How many times did you bat?" Except a good percentage of the time i'm met with "i don't know". And she's saying it because she doesn't want to talk. If she had a bad day i don't know is followed by the ever popular i'm done talking.

Part of me is happy she's doing the typical teen thing, Mom is up in my business i don't want to talk about it. Then part of me is sad because she has a habit of holding in the things that upset her and then at the most random times and tot he most random people telling all her troubles. Lets not walk the path again where she was bullied and never told me but told someone else who then decided to scream at me for not doing anything about it and not knowing about it. THANKS MOM!

Its still dicey in our house. I have to find the balance of how many questions i can ask before i get the total shutdown. And yet i think is this what those toddler years would have been like? would i be just as irate with her as she seems with me when its 1 question to many? I've never had to option to use the i told you so to her. i feel cheated somewhat. Its just so strange to live the reflection of a time you never experienced and to still be frustrated.

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Pardon the dust...

OK so yeah its been 9 months since i last updated this thing. lets get a few particulars out of the way shall we?
-still only have 1 kid (but its been one nasty roller coaster with her)
-Still working the same job since thanksgiving
-still driving the same SUV
-Still have batshit crazy relatives
-still in school
-still single
-still live in the same place

Everything else is a whole lot of different, and some is pain in the ass others I'm realizing that it take more the 140 characters to say what I'm thinking. Those that I've befriended over the years know the basics because i haven't been unavailable I've just been really bad at updating. so sue me shit happens.

Anyhoo what's new? the kid's in middle school and boy is that an adventure. I'm pretty sure most of my updates will be of that nature for a while because its no secret I'm not particular fond of some of the staffers there. Like the gym teacher who neglected to notice c1 wasn't in her class for 8 days becasue she went to the wrong class. Or that when i asked her about it at open school night i got a whole lot of "umm" and i'll get back to you while she stared at the cieling. yeah still waiting.

Sooo...

I'm still here. c1 is enjoying her no bedtime and sleeping till noon, as well as all the junk and soda her grandparents sneak her. I swear. She's living off of mickey D's breakfast, dr pepper and enteimanns donuts. The fact that she's not sick is equally impressive.

Are we having fun yet?

So its Christmas. last night's dinner was on so awesome but i didn't get to bring any leftovers home. i did get a belly full of food and 5 jumbo glasses of wine down. That is always the highlight of my trip. Anyway we got home a little before 1am and c1 asked to open her presents. i was really sleepy but i recall hearing my mom say sure so we all opened gifts last night. c1 got so much stuff my mom really did go overboard this year, and i got a new GPS, a power-drill (apparently c1 said i needed one) she must have heard me cursing about the cheap one i currently have, and a gold and platinum watch. And as usual my mom left the price tags on. this watch is huge and expensive. I'm afraid to wear it because i might damage it. y'all know i dont do jewelry, but apparently she thought by $50 watch which needed a new battery every 8 months was inferior. umm ok. Well the good news was i got to sleep till almost noon.

So now its about time for me to take c1 to her aunts house to spend time with the other side of the family. Her father called me for the 1st time in 6 months to ask when i was taking her over. not so fast he just wants to know so he can keep me from coming in his sisters house. i told him he'll see us when we get there.

Christmas with the cranks

And I'm not sure who's the crank me or the parents.

i was lucky enough to be off of work fro 2 weeks over the holidays which means its time for our annual trek to wrong island. we weren't even planning to leave till Saturday night at the earliest but impatient c1 started packing Wednesday i think. whatever. So while c1 drove me crazy with the packing re-packing and did i say premature packing? we end up leaving after 9pm Sunday night. The drive was not bad at all, and we got here before sunrise. C1 was greeted warmly by my mom who proceeded to tell her that her bed was ready, and then she turned to me and said get off my couch you are not to sleep there, go figure something out in the basement. Ouch. it only took a few minutes before the 1st reminder I'm so not a guest here.

I was exhausted from the 9 hour drive so i crawled up in c1's twin bed with her while she slapped and coughed on me because i had zero energy to even get a bed out to sleep on. I woke up a little after 11am and was then called lazy and welcome to the land of the living. Again no one remembers i just drove overnight by myself? WTF??

i got to spend Monday night grocery shopping. the things i can get up here, I've forgotten already! i wasn't exactly happy to do it but it was a necessary evil. You see my parents have 2 fridges and a deep freezer each one is completely full to the brim but there's nothing to eat. they hoard food. i found bags of seafood parts and chicken parts for stock that will never get made, a cake int he freezer that's been there at least 3 years, 3 lbs of collard greens, yet they haven't cooked in this house in weeks. $95 dollars later i think i have some food for me and the kid for the next 2 weeks. i had to deal with HFCS bread, non-organic dairy and other things but we aren't here long and i wasn't in the mood to have that discussion when she offered to pay for the food.

Only 1 day it can only get worse.

The most happiest place on Earth so they say

My still unemployed ass just got back from a weeklong vacation that was paid for well before i lost my job. I got to spend a whole lot of time with C1, my mom and stepfather in the happiest place on land and sea. I did the Disney Land and Sea vacation. 4 days at the park and 3 or maybe it was 4 days on a cruise ship. I'm exhausted.

Let's start by saying even the best laid plans have some hiccups. Like leaving my sneakers at home. i ran tot the car for my sunglasses putting on the first pair of shoes at the front door and forgot to take them off. I realized i had on flip flops when i got to the airport and halfway through security. Instead of giving in and either 1 returning home to change (i had enough time but not enough cash) or 2 buying a new pair with on vacation i did neither. i have a lovely bit of sunburn on my feet to prove it. But surprisingly my feet were not the most sore thing while i was on vacation. That would be my back and legs and now that i'm home my head.

I attempting to connect with not 1 but 3 of the ladies from my mom's group while at the mouse house. So not planned we just all happened to have overlapping vacations. C1 is tracked out and well Sept isn't exactly high season for florida so its cheap to do right about now. Anyway other then a few calls we never ran into each other. Its not a small world after all when you never see each other!

We stayed at the Polynesian Resort which is huge and a person with environmental allergies worse nightmare. yet they had 2 pools, a water slide, 3 restaurants including a 24 hour place, a boat marina and a beach. yeah we could have stayed there and not done a damn thing there was so much. You could even see the magic kingdom fireworks from the beach.

There isn't much to say about the Park section. other then i want to stay on property forever. I've been to Disney about 9 times starting with the first time when i was 6. Never once stayed on property and man where we missing a bunch! the convience of it all as well as not even needing a car made it great. We split up a few times me and C1 never made it to animal kindgom but hit up magic kingdom twice so i could ride my very favorite ride pirates of the Caribbean. My mom never made it to Hollywood studios and her husband never got over to Epcot except for dinner after ti closed. so much to do so little time but the lines were mostly non-existent. we got everything we could fit in with the longest line being Soaring at Epcot and Peter Pan at magic kingdom. sure we did fast passes when we could but for some rides like space mountain we walked right on, no line.

We saw many children in the mist or in full meltdown, even c1 asked to just go back to the room a few times. its a crazy place. We did character breakfast and pin trading and she got more than a few autographs (Disney is 1 giant conspiracy to separate you from your money) and i spent a whole lot of my budget on that part of the trip. Ok I'll admit i spent the most on myself at the pirate store. There was just so much going on and it was blazing hot on top of that, yet i managed to be photographed somewhere int he 40+ range. i know me, the photo hating woman dating a photographer. Unreal.

We had a few more mishaps but what do you expect on a vacation with me my mom and her husband. someones going to irritate someone else before the trip is over.

What time is it?

so for the first time since i've been laid off i overslept. I was on the phone late last night and then had a migraine so i took some meds finished my wine and dozed off. I also haven't sleep that good in ages. Anyway i got up and C1 had exactly 20 minutes to get to school or she would be late. I guess it helps that we live across the street from the school. You know those moms int he carpool lane with uncombed hair no makeup and most likely no undies and the clothes she slept in? that was me this morning just add a yankees cap.

Now its time to high tail it out the house. I'm still unemployed. Only had 2 interviews in the past month. I have been spending more time socializing with Steph because well she's fun. C1's braces come off in about 2 months and we are still preparing for the upcoming Disney trip. I need to post the pictures from Drag Bingo. Good times.

Summer's over

Well for C1 it is. She starts school in the morning and i will officially have a 5th grader. i feel really old right now.

Lets not do this for a few more years

Last weekend C1 had her 10th birthday party. It was at the local movie theatre which serves 'real food' and has tables. the party was very nice, the theatre was freezing and C1 is still working on her thank you cards. (I really need to crack the whip) There wasn't much to report other that i was pretty frantic the day before and the day of the party including making an extra 2 goodie bags in case some of the kids that didn't RSVP showed up. I can happily say i have a very well mannered set of parents because everyone that showed up RSVP'd first. I was really getting sick and tired of this attitude since I moved here where people just show up and don't bother to confirm especially when your paying per child. Oh and Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. Not good but not painful

The party ended up costing me with the goodie bags about $150 which is less then i wanted to spend so I'm happy about that. More money to spend on those braces.

New year old drama

Happy New year everyone. I know I've been a bit behind because i was in Wrong Island for thew holidays. But lets get to the details huh?

I mostly got up to JFK without any issues. the taxi did call me 45 minutes early (ie 4:45am) to see if i would accept an earlier pickup time. Yeah i wanted to hurt somebody when i got to the terminal and JetBlue doesn't even open till 5:45am. I just waited around the terminal for about 25 minutes just so i could check my bags. After getting into town i hit the ground running with errands and whatnot. I must have got dragged everywhere Sunday. The rest of the week went pretty fast paced. I had people to see pretty much every day. I was supposed to go bowling with Mike but after 4 failed attempts i just let it go. Miscommunication meant i didn't see TOM till Thursday when he came over for dinner and an official meet the parents type thing. I mean he's known both of them and has met them in passing lots of times but this was the first scheduled time where the 4 of us sat around talking for a few hours. He also floated the move to ATL idea that i so hoped he wouldn't. Thursday was also the day i was scheduled to have a mammogram after finding a lump. The good news is I'm not dying any faster then usual and after several hours they sent me home with a clean bill of health. Of course though one of the girls was sore for pretty much a full 24 hours. I saw everyone i attempted to see and spent Christmas day at my grandmother's. my brother lost 60 lbs in prison. which i must say he looks really good. he went in overweight and now he's back to his old self. Even spent most of the night hitting on one of my cousin's friends. The boy has not changed. I didn't see my other brother or my nephew. I also didn't see my grandfather or father because both were too sick to come home.
C1 dad decided to be an ass and wait till Christmas eve to work out Christmas day plans. even after i told him tough because i made plans when he didn't call i ended up leaving my grandmother's early so i called and offered to drop c1 off at his sister's house as long as he brought her home. it was only 7pm and he gave me some song and dance about having to work and that he'd wait till Sunday. He did slightly redeem himself by coming over to the house on her birthday after work just to give her a bday present. I guess he's trying.

Oh i almost forgot Christmas eve! we went to Jersey as usual for the 7 fishes dinner at my mom's best friend's house. this year had 19 adults 8 or so kids (i lost count) and 1 dog. It was great as usual and there was lots of food left over so i ate good for several days afterward. We also stopped at my mom's sister's house since we were already in Jersey. We were there about 25 minutes which was 18 minutes too long.

Of course i was ready to go home about 2 days before i did and my mom's husband managed to irritate and grate the longer i was in that house. I did have a good Christmas though because I got an iPhone. I'll post a picture of it eventually but right now I'm just trying to figure out how to use the stupid thing since there's NO MANUAL. But the bigger news is that my mom listened and got me what i asked for. So whoever had an iphone in this years pot won. Hmm that also means I've got about 4 years of weird presents on the horizon.

At least i'm home and getting back into the groove of things. i really missed my bed, that aerobed is much to close to the floor.

Shopping is a job right?

After surprisingly fun Hanukkah at my house, C1 had some fun at day camp, including her "best field trip ever" to the mall. I swear as much as I hate it that child loves to shop. Every time we drive in the general area of crabtree or TTC she tries to convince me I need something from one of those stores. I don't know where she gets it. I guess it comes from the same place as all the girlie moments, pink powered goodness and love of shoes. My wacky mother.

Either way at least she still thinks boys pains in the ass and ain't knocked up like Jamie Lynn Spears. Britney better work on some endorsements because her sister is getting back on her gravy train.

Happy Holidays

This is my house.

And so is this



C1 insisted we do Hanukkah this year so we have a menorah. Its actually quite interesting in my house right now with all the stuff and my attempt later this week to make latkes. Of course i have to do the cookie swap at work too. Today was the last day for c1 before trackout so its a so countdown till she heads up to my mom for the holidays. The bonus is i will get to spend an entire week home alone, no practices, lessons, carpool lanes or mad dashes across town. I think I'm going to get a massage.

Goofing off is good for the soul

My annoying coworker has been sick for a few days so me and the other cubies spent quite some time last week goofing off, talking loud and not working. I actually enjoyed all of last week even though i was tired with my valet duties of driving c1 all over creation. i have the tickets for Christmas and will be heading up to wrong island for Christmas with the crazies. The decision has been made that my mom will keep C1's wii at her house so c1 can open it on Christmas morning.

My mom asked me what i wanted for Christmas. I said an iphone. Any bets on what I'll actually get?

Getting Motivated

I swear i must be moving in slo-mo because I'm exhausted. This was a happily quiet week at work but Friday was my day off. C1 had to get her braces tightened and see the doctor. I got a much needed afternoon nap in. (even if it was only 40 minutes) we then headed out to the state fair where i had a extremely satisfying deep-fried snickers. Getting home from the fair proved to be interesting and i was very thankful for the new nav-system my mom got me after the disastrous drive home from DC last month. I've sitting here not doing my finance homework and looking over the spoils from yesteray's auction at c1's school. While she was upset she didn't win the webkinz raffle, she was thrilled that i did get the winning bids for a printmaking session with her art teacher and a birthday party for 6 at the movie theatre/restaurant. She was getting a party anyway and my bid saved me $20. i also got a $25 dry cleaning gift certificate for $14. so i made out in multiple ways.

where did you learn that? #205

I'm driving back home today from voting scanning the radio stations when i pause on channel 8 and C1 starts singing along "won't you take me to...Funkytown!" i change and she says no wait go back. She continued singing along and she knew ALL THE WORDS. granted there aren't many but i didn't know anything other then the that line but she was even making the beeps. My mom calls while i'm driving and i tell her to listen she breaks into hysterics. I'm still shocked because i have no earthly idea where she learned that song from.

Sugar

C1 is growing up and she's Disneyfied. Yesterday I spent most of my evening looking for Hannah Montana tickets in 2 different states and at Target she got me to buy a Jonas Brother's CD. Its clearly rubbing off on me because i spend way to much time at work singing loudly when alone humming along to SOS.