Monday, January 10, 2011

Split personality

Common things that have trickled from people's heads out of their mouths int he last 2 months about me/

"you are so much nicer than i thought you would be."
"You are scary, remind me to never cross you."
"oh I've always wanted to meet you" followed by an up and down look and them taking in my shirt de jour.
"You are nice!"

I would say its a case of people who haven't been around be enough to tell the difference. But i will say 3 of those comments were from people i've spent an extensive amount of time with. I don't try to project a different outward persona i guess its just my mood that day. What gets me is the range of how different people view me.

I'm not an angry black girl. I"m loud sure but angry not so much. I'm rather flippant. I don't get very riled up about most things, i've gotten to the age where not caring about some things is definitely going to have me live longer.

I do have one mean streak though. Ask my father, or my ex, or some of the guys i went to school with. Or the guy i beat up in junior high. If i get tot he point its really not pretty. I've done a considerable amount of damage to people mentally, verbally and psychically because i was pushed past my tolerance point. the number of people that have seen it is very very small, but those who know are aware that its not something they like to see.

I'm not even sure what prompted this post. probably me offering to get in my truck with the bat and go remind some people that they have fearless friends. That in fact is true. Maybe its because after years of knowing how to stick up for myself i've started sticking up for others. No this isn't about bullying, not really, just some people get backed into corners usually by those they care about. I don't sit around yelling down people i don't know from strangers on forum trolls etc, but say a really good friend of mine finds herself pregnant and ditched by her husband, i'm there to do some damage. It me its more about personal effects. I don't have that desire or that connection to go and make followup comments because someone got a mean comment on their blog, but you fuck with my best friend... my right hook is pretty awesome and you will find out.


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